I sure do!
I kinda inherited the "It's too hard to say 'no' curse" or is it the "too easy to say 'yes' curse" ? I don't know... All I know is I grew up in a very servant-hearted home (for which I'm truly grateful)! And my family was always very involved in our church. But what could you expect being the child of a music director/worship pastor? If there was a hole in an area of service that needed filling, my parents were always good about stepping up and volunteering to help out.
Whether it was S.M.A.C.K in the summer (a children's musical program that my parents helped lead), youth ministry, senior adult ministry, choir, Christmas programs, Easter programs, homeschool groups, AWANA, Bible studies...or things as simple as setting out the luminaries at Christmastime, etc., my family always seemed to be busy! And November and December were always the busiest when you added Thanksgiving, Christmas, 2 birthdays, and my parents anniversary!
Growing up, my parents often talked about 'learning to say no.' What did that mean? Well, the older I get, the more I understand. It's so easy to over-commit yourself to too many 'good things.' It's easy to focus all your energy and time on serving the church and community, and your family and home just get the 'leftovers.'
I'm grateful that even though we were a busy family, my parents made sure we didn't get their leftover time. My dad was always good about taking us out on 'daddy dates' where we got to spend one-on-one time with him during which he challenged and encouraged our faith and our personal walk with the Lord. My mom spent hours with us pouring over our school work to help us learn what we needed to know to exceed in life. We had family prayer times, we sang together in the car whenever we were traveling, we watched movies together, and we ate dinner together as a family.
How families today are always eating 'on the run' to make it to the next football game or dance recital? Yeah, we still had to eat on the run sometimes, but my mom was very good about having dinner on the table early if we had early evening plans. And even if we had to eat a 'quick' meal like mac 'n cheese or hot dogs at least we ate it together.
So how does this apply to me today?
Well, because of my background and personality, I naturally want to serve and help other people. I will step up, take charge, and lead when no one else will. I do want to get involved in my church and community as much as possible but not at the expense of my family, home, or physical well-being!
You see, Nick and I have lived in Colorado Springs for about a year and half now, and our schedules are so full these days that I don't know if we can squeeze anything else in! When we first moved here, we had so much time on our hands, we didn't know what to do with ourselves. (But there was a lot of other stuff going on in our lives then, so it was probably a good thing we had a bit of a 'restful' season.)
Now?
Well, let me tell you. Our Sunday morning small group at church just started today, and guess who is leading? Yep, that's right - The Johnsons! Women's ministry begins Tuesday morning, and yep - I'm going! ...We've been part of small group for about a year that is currently meeting on Monday evenings. A friend and I started a social group for moms in Colorado Springs that meets about once a week, and I've been planning a lot of the events for that. Nick has been hiking and running 3 mornings a week, and I've been running in the mornings on the days in between. Nick had been planning 5K races once a quarter for HCJB Global... I know there's a lot of other stuff too...and after all that - add in a 4-month-old baby boy and ya stay busy, right?! (How do people with multiple kids do it?!)
I guess I feel like I am going a bit crazy 'cause of everything we're involved in now on top of all that happened over the summer...don't even get me started! It's just that every time I think life is going to slow down, it doesn't. And I'm learning that it's partly (or maybe mostly) my own fault.
So when we registered Isaac for the church nursery, one of the nursery leaders asked Nick and me if we'd be willing to volunteer in the nursery during one service on one Sunday a month. It's not that big of a commitment, so we almost said 'yes' until we realized that is was another commitment. We really struggled over it because it was a small commitment and we really do love to serve, but we realized that it's the 'small' commitments that 'get' us... We could commit to 100 'small' commitments and be running all over the place going crazy and wearing ourselves out. But we decided that we'd rather commit to a few things and do those things well than spread ourselves out over a bunch of little things and do none of them well.
Okay, so I had to call the nursery leader and tell her that we couldn't do the nursery volunteering now, but we'd be interested in doing it in the future. It was so hard to say 'not now,' but I did! And even when she put more pressure on me and tried to get me to change the decision Nick and I had made, I stood my ground. It was soooo hard because I felt so guilty, and I came away from our conversation almost feeling like we couldn't use the nursery if we didn't volunteer...
Today was Isaac's first day in the nursery, and the thought of using the nursery really bothered me until just a few days ago when I read this devotional from the book Jesus Calling by Sarah Young:
"Enjoy the warmth of My Presence shining upon you. Feel your face tingle as you bask in my Love-Light. I delight in you more than you can imagine. I approve of you continuously, for I see you cloaked in My Light, arrayed in my righteousness. There is no condemnation for those who are clothed in Me! That is why I abhor the use of guilt as a means of motivation among Christians.
Some pastors try to whip their people into action with guilt-inducing sermons. This procedure can drive people to work harder, but the end does not justify the means. Guilt-evoking messages can undermine the very foundation of grace in a believer's heart. A pastor may feel successful when his people are doing more, but I look at their hearts. I grieve when I see grace eroding, with weeds of anxious works creeping in. I want you to relax in the assurance of My perfect Love. The law of My Spirit of Life has freed you from the law of sin and death."
I am so glad I live under grace and not under the law! There's a song I love by Jason Gray called Good To Be Alive. It talks about saying 'Thank You' through a well-lived life. It talks about not wanting to waste a moment and how good it is to be alive. That's exactly how I feel! I don't wanna live and serve other people to try to get God to love or like me or bless me even. I desire to always live my life in response to what Jesus did for me on the cross and as a way of saying thank you to Him.
Yeah, life's a little crazy sometimes, but when you're living under God's grace it truly is good to be alive!
.JPG)